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Monday, 13 April 2015

The First Afternoon Back...

Nursery came at the right time today. The perfect time to get in the car and drive. To drop them off. To have 3 hours alone. Time and space to calm down.
We survived the holidays, TV and all. Every one of us still in one piece for two full weeks until today. 

Dinner before nursery was going well. Beans on toast with cheese, a plate full of grapes, a slice of buttered malt loaf, a yoghurt and a box of raisins each. Both were doing well, half a plate of beans gone when Daddy drops in for dinner. And it begins...

You see, Daddy seems to have this vibe to him, this 'once I set foot in the door is your que to be naughty' vibe that Tyler picks up on right away. And he plays to it. 
Instantly he'd had enough of his half eaten plate and instead insisted he had his yoghurt. Off he went to get himself a spoon and came back with a large soup spoon. I suggested he use a smaller spoon more capable of fitting inside the yoghurt pot. He didn't want a smaller spoon and began licking what was a clean spoon. I asked Tyler to put it in the sink and offered to get him a smaller spoon so he could eat his yoghurt. 
All hell broke loose. 
The tantrum started, the screaming and crying, the jumping up and down, the kicking. I wasn't giving in though, it simply wouldn't fit and all this because of the size of the spoon. Had Daddy not been there, there wouldn't have been an issue, Tyler would have accepted the smaller spoon and enjoyed his yoghurt. 
10 minutes later and the tantrum hadn't subsided, Tyler was asked to leave the room to go and calm down. 
2 doors slammed and 6 ear piercing shrieks later and he emerged, apologised and sat down with the small spoon to clean the pot and even eat his beans.

This often happens, when a tantrum won't calm down alone he is asked to leave the room and comes back a few minutes later, apologising and behaving. It's strange to us too but if it works we'll use it and until today it's worked in our favour.

Dinner passed and all the food was eaten, half plates of beans gone, raisins, malt loaf and two filled children ready for the first afternoon back. After cleaning each child in turn and checking they were appropriately dressed, it was time to put shoes and coats on. Once ready and loading began, Tianne decided to poop. 
Ok we still had time, you know, being organised, not that I was impatiently waiting all day for this moment. So in we came and into the living room.
Then I seen it, it was the moment of dread, the sickening moment that explained the beans. Tianne's iPad lay in the middle of the floor, perfectly placed for the crime committed.
The TV had been smashed!
Not into pieces but the screen was white and cracked with blue, red and white fuzzy sections. 
I was shocked. Tyler! The one who so innocently came back to the table, so usually well behaved. Our blonde haired, blue eyed, cheeky little boy had in that moment turned into a monster!
But not a peep, he hadn't said a word about it when he'd come back through, there were no hints of satisfaction in his eyes, no look of 'that's what you get for sending me for calm down time.'

Tyler was asked back into the house to explain and it was there that he admitted what had happened, He'd thrown the iPad at the TV, he doesn't know how to lie yet but in that moment I bet he wished he had. All hope of it being some scary thug gone and instead I had to face facts. I didn't say another word and instead changed Tianne and strapped them in the car. 
Not today, I wasn't prepared for this today. I dropped them off and drove home, no radio just silence. I'm beginning to calm down now, being able to write it down and let it out feels like a huge weight off my shoulders, but it was a real shock. It was a blessing that I discovered it when I had. It saved me shouting and falling out with him. I don't know why I went silent, usually I'm the first to shout, but today I just carried on!
I wasn't expecting it, maybe that's why I acted like I did but I think I did the right thing. I'm now able to calmly talk to him about it when he returns and he's got some time to think about why I was upset with him before he comes home. 

For now though, he'll be missing out on any television and as a consequence I began thinking about selling his iPad to pay for a new TV. I've decided to keep it and use it myself for a few months before he's allowed it back.

One day, we may just look back and laugh at how much of a terror he used to be...

Has anyone else had their kids destroy things? How did you find yourself reacting?

Lots of Love

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